It's very short, it could use more stanzas. I feel like it just ended really abruptly. But I do like how you say you miss your childhood, and you mention the donkey. I noticed that half of the first stanza is talking about your childhood and the other half is talking about your life now. Overall you can add to it and I think it would be much better.
You made is sound like you hated your childhood. I think you could have done alot more. Honestly I feel like my little brother could have wrote this. I'm sorry for being honest.
"Reckless adventurous childhood, oh, how I miss it." i love that line because i can relater to it. i miss my younger years, it was reckless and adventurous. But besides that your poem was short and to the point. Didnt really give much imagery, or how you have changed from the picture to now in the present. It was just like 2 words in each line. They really didnt seem l like much.
I want more...more...more. I think you can give me more Jeffery. I see the imagery, but I don't think you give enough for me to really get it. I think the last line is interesing and stuff but I feel you can put a little more into it.
It's very short, it could use more stanzas. I feel like it just ended really abruptly. But I do like how you say you miss your childhood, and you mention the donkey. I noticed that half of the first stanza is talking about your childhood and the other half is talking about your life now. Overall you can add to it and I think it would be much better.
ReplyDeletei believe this is about how you miss your childhood. Could of added more though
ReplyDeletei know if you added more to this it would be more interesting. I like it though but it's just so fast and short. i like the last stanza though.
ReplyDeleteYou made is sound like you hated your childhood. I think you could have done alot more. Honestly I feel like my little brother could have wrote this. I'm sorry for being honest.
ReplyDelete"Reckless adventurous childhood,
ReplyDeleteoh, how I miss it."
i love that line because i can relater to it. i miss my younger years, it was reckless and adventurous. But besides that your poem was short and to the point. Didnt really give much imagery, or how you have changed from the picture to now in the present. It was just like 2 words in each line. They really didnt seem l
like much.
I want more...more...more. I think you can give me more Jeffery. I see the imagery, but I don't think you give enough for me to really get it. I think the last line is interesing and stuff but I feel you can put a little more into it.
ReplyDeleteyou could've added more, it just stopped. Like is there going to be a part 2 ?
ReplyDeleteStupid donkey rofl.
ReplyDeleteI miss my adventurous childhood as well.
Unfortunately we're old and wrinkly now
At least I'm old and wrinkly you're still young. Eat twinkies while you can before they go to your butt